Have you ever been sucker punched? It's when someone comes up to you and out of NOWHERE..hits you, smack dab in the face.
I feel like I just had that happen. Something that my husband and I planned on, worked for, and made extensive efforts towards...just fell apart. I won't get into the details, but I am quite sad. If I'm honest, I have cried repeatedly.
I am trying to figure it out. Why didn't it go through, what did we do wrong, what could we have done differently? The ultimate question...why God? I sit and I ruminate about it all, to the point of a healthy headache...and finally something in me says "stop".
Somewhere, some how, I have to come to the decision that it isn't FOR me to know. I have to "flip the faith switch" and let it go. I have to rely upon the promises that God has made abundantly clear to me....
1.He's crazy in love with me...
2.He wants what is best for me...
3.His plan is bigger than I can imagine...
4.His ways are higher than what I can see and understand at this point...
5.He will take what looks bad and turn it into something good...
6.He's crazy in love with me...
That last point(and actually the first as well)are hard for me to take in. If He loves me, why do things keep failing in front of my eyes. If He loves me, why does He allow all these trials to pile up on my plate?
Flippin' the faith switch again...
I need to let God be God. I need to realize that I can't earn the blessing. He will bring the breakthrough in His way. I need to rest in His arms like my newborn son rests in mine. I might cry it out, but His arms are there embracing me. I might not see it, but I can walk by FAITH, not by sight. I choose to rest. I choose Him over the "how", the "why" and the "when".
I choose Him.
2008 was a bad year. 2009 wasn't much. 2010 I'm in a large banquet room feasting! Be patient. Keep praising. God loves u. So do we!
ReplyDeleteMike aka revmaddog
Part of the journey is not knowing where you are going or why - but knowing that He is directing you and that the pit-stops and detours along the way were always part of the plan.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
"Jesus knows me; this I love."
ReplyDeleteIt's true! And it's true that He guides, orders, directs, and sustains. He can be trusted in all, even with our rioting emotions.
We await word of victory!
I would love to say something profound but I have nothing. I can say over the years when something fell apart even things I thought were blessed by God. I learned when the hurt and disappointment set in, I shrug my shoulders, and sadly utter Gods will be done, each time my mind wandered back to it, again I would say Gods will be done! Amazingly the more I repeated it the less it hurt. With that said sometime it made me realize I was being selfish. Maybe to me I was doing it for all the right reasons but it was not for the glory of God and not for the others involved but only for me cause I thought it would solve everything. Make everyone happy make me feel good I did this for them. Ultimately it was not with God at the headship. I love you and my prayers are as always with you and for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI needed this. I also need to flip the faith switch. He loves us and knows whats best.
ReplyDeleteOh sistah! I am sitting here shaking my head 'yes' and raising my hands. Yep - been there...and after the punch, you fall down. You get up, brush yourself off and wonder "what the heck?!".
ReplyDeleteThen you will start to question the time before the punch - which can make you crazy...which is what the Devil wants...he wants us to question our faithfulness, to question our plans and to start to think that we deserve the punch.
Praise God as you stand back up...it's all good!